Crisis phone counseling by professionals
Relevant literature and references available.
The Institute provides bereavement services to families, friends and significant others affected by SIDS. These services include:
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Crisis phone counseling by professionals |
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Relevant literature and references available. |
COMMENTARIES
"My baby just died due to SIDS and my significant other and I are having a really difficult time communicating...can you help?"
Tips In Coping
* Your relationship with this person is the most important relationship, let it take precedence over all others.
* When a baby dies, the grief affects the couple at the same time. Other stresses in relationships usually do not impact on both persons simultaneously. Therefore, your closest support is not always able to respond to you as he/she is trying to deal with his/her own grief.
* Each person in the relationship will grieve in their own way. Learning to accept your partner's way can be difficult.
* Difficulties can arise in the best of relationships. Keep working to communicate your needs emotionally.
* Your partner does not have to be your sole supporter.
* There could be stresses on your sexual relationship. Communicate your feeling openly. Remember, human touch and hugs can be healing.
* Each person in a relationship may need some privacy with their feelings. Respect each other and give the space needed. This could be a time for you to share later.
* Each person who has experienced the death of their baby is not the same person they were before this incident occured. It may take time to accept and understand these changes.
* Each of you will search for a meaning of your loss, one may turn to faith, one may not.
* It is okay to enjoy life. Your baby does not expect you to be sad all the time. Sharing laughter and tears together helps you to heal. Search for some relaxing things to do, it helps to give you a new perspective.
* This is a difficult time for both. Remember, if your relationship was secure before the loss, it can become deeper during your healing.
* Each may feel different regarding the choices of your child's memorabilia. Talk about your differences and work out a compromise if able.
* Your sorrow comes from broken hopes and dreams. Each person may have different dreams for this special baby. Sharing your dreams could give you some insights into each others feelings.
Ways to Survive as a Couple
Seek outside support from a support group, clergy, or other professional.
Take time out for each other, alone.
Set a time to talk each day.
Work on your communication skills.
Pray together.
Give yourselves the time you need to adjust.
(adapted from SHARE National Office, 1993)